尼拉咖啡-試賣中

it is kinda hard to believe she is already gone for two years.
it didnt hit me till recently that,
there is another person who didnt get to see her before she left,
and she didnt know about it till a week later.
that is, my sister.
she cried over the phone, asking who no one told her about it,
i was out for dinner at Akwan with Louise.
and i didnt know what to do, coz i broke down as well.
after comforting her, sort of...
i dried my tears and became cool and calm again.
god, my rationality might won me an Academy award,
yet it's something disgusts myself the most.

i almost forgot she didnt know this as well.
and she was closer to home than i was.
i didnt know how my parents kept the truth from her.
and i didnt know what i would do if i were my folks.
all i know was that her pain was not any less than mine.


i still cried during the night whenever i think of her.
i am scard of seeing any dog, stray or not,
because at any moment i am afraid myself would be crushed.
it was scary enough.
i am not trying to find any excuse for my being cynical.
however this is one of many reasons.
at this time of the year, everyone seems so hateful.

maybe that was the moment when i stopped believeing in people.
that was the most helpless and lonely season i ever been through.
although it was spring.

i miss her. i really do.